Day One

Alright.. So far things are okay. I've had an orange (100 cals) and a small steak... (my dad was making lunch and it would've looked bad if I didn't eat it - 270 cals, bleh). That's all I'm going to have today (even though today is a 500 cal day), I just don't want to have too much. So now the rest of the day is water, diet tea and maybe some diet coke. Yep. Not much else to report.

Introduction

Hi there. This is not just a blog but sort of a journal. I need to have someplace to organize my thoughts and hopefully give and receive advice. This seemed like a good place. I really have a lot to say I just don't know how to say it all. I'll just say what I can.

My parents divorced when I was seven and both were remarried by the time I was nine. I'll talk more about that later. Basically the whole situation made me feel out of control and thus gave me many mental issues that I was ill equipped to deal with. I struggled with a lot of different control issues over the years since then (I'm eighteen now). I dealt with self injury in many forms and eating disorders. I messed up my metabolism and then I recently attempted to join the military. Turns out my bulimia caused acid reflux. So I got medically separated from boot camp after many weeks of medical hold. Now I'm home and I feel horrific and fat. I gained a lot of weight during boot camp when I was unable to purge.

Now I have even more control issues to deal with. I'm currently starting the 50 day diet. I'm hoping it'll bring some of my anxiety (not to mention my weight) down. I feel ashamed over my current weight so I don't really want to share that. But when I get down a bit I'm going to start recording my weight and intake on here. If anybody wants to do the diet with me here it is:

Day 1: 500 calories (or less)

Day 2: 500 calories (or less)

3: 300 calories

4: 400 calories

5: 100 calories

6: 200 calories

7: 300 calories

8: 400 calories

9: 500 calories

10: Fast

11: 150 calories

12: 200 calories

13: 400 calories

14: 350 calories

15: 250 calories

16: 200 calories

17: Fast

18: 200 calories

19: 100 calories

20: Fast

21: 300 calories

22: 250 calories

23: 200 calories

24: 150 calories

25: 100 calories

26: 50 calories

27: 100 calories

28: 200 calories

29: 200 calories

30: 300 calories

31: 800 calories

32: Fast

33: 250 calories

34: 350 calories

35: 450 calories

36: Fast

37: 500 calories

38: 450 calories

39: 400 calories

40: 350 calories

41: 300 calories

42: 250 calories

43: 200 calories

44: 200 calories

45: 250 calories

46: 200 calories

47: 300 calories

48: 200 calories

49: 150 calories

50: Fast

Think lovely thoughts!

~ Ana Snow